Daddy Issues? Don't we all have them at some point?
I used to be “Daddy’s Girl” you know… the “Princess” of the house, spoiled rotten by my father and I had him completely wrapped around my little finger. But you know things change, my parents got a divorce and that badge that I wore proudly that read Daddy’s Girl now reads “Daddy Issues”.
I honestly didn’t even realize I suffered from Daddy Issues until I started this long journey in finding my identity. I needed to restore my confidence, redefine the meaning of self-love and acceptance and reset my mindset but in order to do these things successfully I needed to start from the root and heal all the way through. Unfortunately, ladies for most of us we all share the same root “Daddy Issues”.
The most dangerous thing about having Daddy Issues isn’t having them, it’s not knowing that we do. For so long we run away from personal responsibilities and seek attention from the wrong guy trying to compensate for the physical, mental and emotional connection we yearned from our fathers as a young girl.
When you first glance at a woman she looks as if she is holding it all together, but there are certain characteristics woman with Daddy Issues display and if you’re not sure here are 5 signs to help identify Daddy Issues.
Hi, I am your identity coach and I would like to share with you 5 signs that will help you identify your “Daddy Issues”.
· She Only Dates Older Men
This is identified as Electra Complex which according to Neo-Freudian Psychology it’s a young girl’s psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father. Women that date older men are looking for stability, to be taken care of and protected something that their father might not have given them. Dating an older man doesn’t have to be all bad, the component of the relationship requires balance. The woman might let the older male take too much control causing manipulation, or the woman could attempt to take too much control not allowing her partner to feel that he is needed.
· She’s Jealous and Overly Protective
Daddy Issues will cause a woman to become desperately insecure. When you find yourself constantly checking his phone, overly obsessing over his female friendships and questioning his every move the behavior signifies that there is something deeper at play and it develops an anxious attachment style relationship. This type of relationship will cause a woman to feel the need to be present in every activity her partner engages in and if she is not invited she may feel left out and unwanted.
· She Needs Constant Reassurance of Love and Affection
Often times when we don’t get enough attention and we don’t feel valued especially in the relationship with our fathers, we grow up and seek that attention in relationships with our partners as an adult.
Ladies this is my biggest struggle. As a child I always needed to know that a job was well done and when I didn’t get that attention and affection I felt rejected. I struggle with this the most because my father showered with me the greatest love from birth until the age of nine when my parents got divorced. I had experienced protection, security and being “Daddy’s Princess” but then it was all taken away leaving a big void in my life. This void caused me to become self- centered, I attracted untrustworthy partners and I became extremely clingy in my relationships ultimately pushing partners away confirming my greatest fear, that I am unloved and unwanted.
Does this sound familiar??
Don’t worry it does get better with time ladies, through the journey in finding my identity I found out that my root “Daddy Issues” created very large steams called lack of validation and self-acceptance and being able to identify the very things that held me in bondage helped to set me free.
· She Sticks with the Wrong Guy
When dealing with the issue of an absent father as women we feel less protected, there’s not a male figure worrying if we will fall, a father telling us how precious we are or telling us what we deserve and that leaves the door of abandonment wide open. Women tend to hang on to relationships that don’t make them happy and partners who are emotionally, physically and verbally abusive. Those of us that stick with the wrong guy struggle with the fear of abandonment and are at a much higher risk of relationship dissatisfaction because we would rather be in a dysfunctional relationship then be alone.
· She’s Sexually Aggressive
Sexual Aggressiveness is listed as one of the first symptoms of “Daddy Issues”. This kind of aggression can cause women to become promiscuous and very flirtatious. Being sexually aggressive doesn’t at all mean that a woman is putting zero value into her sex life, it actually means that she’s hoping sex will put her into a man’s good graces. Most fathers teach their daughters to respect themselves and their virtue, however, if a father is absent and doesn’t give that advice she may use sex a form of power hoping that she will gain attention ultimately trying to feel that void. Unfortunately, this behavior is only filled with jerks and men who are only interested in sex and again she’s left disappointed and feeling unworthy.
You’re too scared, too dependent, too caring, too much of everything it seems like, but this isn’t a flaw, it’s a strength because you know whatever happens you’ll be okay. I mean come on you’ve already survived the worst right? Ladies we all have our own version of Daddy Issues some mother issues too. We are all working through so many different issues and we will continue to repeat negative behaviors and relationships until we wake up and realize our negative patterns and decide change them.
Remember: It’s never too late to put in the necessary work to heal.
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Your Identity Coach,
Jazmyne Dennice ©